Forgivenss

My sweet, humble and incredibly strong friend asked me to write this. She is a saint.

OK--my take on forgiveness. Or rather why I don't want to forgive.

I've never really struggled with forgiving people I love for the little stuff. Overlooking a quick harsh word is easy since I can hand them out myself pretty well when I'm tired. Or annoyed. Or human.

But what is really, really hard to do is forgive someone who did something truly awful and they are not sorry. Or they continue to do awful things and I'm pretty sure they are never, ever going to stop. And will never be sorry.

I'd give you some examples, but that would be counterproductive. And chances are, you have a list of some truly heinous things done to you. So, there was this one particular soul I hadn't forgiven. And upon reflection it occurred to me that I hadn't and that the reason was because I desperately didn't want them to get away with it. Yes, the reason I had unknowingly withheld forgiveness was because I somehow thought that if I forgave them that they would get off scott free. So by holding on to anger, I thought the scales of justice might, just might be balanced. Or at least not so unbalanced.

When people do bad stuff and do bad stuff to us and they aren't sorry and they have apparently gone unpunished--that is hard to forgive.

Jesus tells us we have to forgive anyway.

*headdesk*  Really? Why?

Because we are Christians. Now, if you aren't a Christian, you'll have to find some other philosophy and some other source of power to forgive, because this theory of forgiveness is based squarely on Christ and His cross.

The question is, do we trust Jesus to be the Judge? Do we trust Him to make things right? Do we trust Him with justice? We should. And if we do, we have to act on that by turning over to Him this particular debt we are owed. No matter how big it is. In fact, all the debts we are owed need to be turned over to Him. He is in charge of punishment and reward and all that it involves.

Which I wasn't that happy about because I know He is pretty merciful. He likes to forgive. And that person who had wronged me might . . . you know . . . get away with it. (Guess that mercy works in my favor, so I can't be too quick to criticize.)

But Jesus doesn't just go around with some magic wand prang-ing away sins. He died for those sins. Each and every one. He took upon Himself the debts of the entire world so that at the moment of His death it was possible for justice and mercy to both exist. Mercy only and sin would have continued forever. Justice only and we all would die the second permanent death. In order for both to happen, Jesus had to die. With His death, He purchased the debts and paid them. That debt of sin you and I have accumulated, He paid and owns. That debt someone else owes you, He paid and owns.

So now we have to forgive. No choice. It has to happen. So here is what Jesus asks us to do: (In my metaphor) write the person who wronged us a blank check. Sign it. Hand it over. It might get pretty big. It has to cover all the stuff they have already done and probably stuff they will continue to do. Remember they are not sorry? So they are going to keep doing bad things. To you. You can write that blank check because Jesus will cover it for you. He never runs out. You and I will run out of the funds of forgiveness. But He won't. All we have to do is remember that we have chosen to forgive and ask Him to place the continued strength in our hearts to keep on forgiving. And He always will. He will give us that fountain of forgiveness in our hearts. We just have to ask.

This is my experience. I wrote that blank check. And it gave me such freedom. Freedom from anger. Freedom from the burden of trying to achieve justice. It protects me from this person who is still awful and does awful stuff. In forgiving I have (metaphor again) let go of my end of the rope. I'm no longer tied to this individual through hatred and bitterness. I am free. And when I struggle with living in that state of forgiveness (when the funds get low) Jesus comes in and fills up my forgiveness account.

We trust Him to make things right in the end. The same Jesus who makes us right--the one who will drag our "sorry behinds into heaven" (to quote my friend Dan) is the same one who will either fix the person who wronged us, or will make sure that they will never hurt us again (in heaven). We have to trust Him with this. If we trust Him to save us--if we trust Him to save us from our sins--if we trust Him to save us from Sin, we must trust Him to do it in His way, and in His time. It is time for us to forgive.

PS-on this earth, it is OK to stay away from awful people. Jesus doesn't ask us to sign up for abuse and mistreatment. I dodge my former debtor like a champion dodgeballer. There are even times to use civil authorities. There are times to hold them accountable. We can forgive and see that the wheels of earthly justice still turn. We just have to stay out of the heavenly stuff.